During my Student Exchange Program in
One day, back in the University campus, I met one of the Japanese exchange students, A. She appeared to be serious and said that she wanted to talk to me regarding an issue. I was alarmed and proceeded to ask her what it was. She said that she was feeling uncomfortable that my Singaporean friends and I were talking in Singlish and Chinese at the parties. I was shocked to hear that from her and quickly apologized for our insensitivity. I then told her that we were unaware that she was feeling like that and we had no intentions of excluding anyone from our conversations. After that incident, we kept reminding ourselves not to talk in a way that will exclude other people at the parties. Fortunately, that incident was not blown out of proportion and I remained good friends with them ever since.
Here's a picture of me and the Japanese exchange students when we were on a cruise to see dolphins!
7 comments:
hey CG!
I remembered you also commented that when the Japanese students were together, they spoke in Japanese too. Well, this is pretty puzzling to me. Why can't the Singaporeans speak their own language while the Japanese could speak in Japanese?
That's just a question. But i think you did the right thing by correcting yourself before the issue goes out of hand. It is gracious of you to give in to that Japanese schoolmate of yours. This would have won you many hearts, friendly hearts of course.
This could bring me to that point that in order to communicate effective, there should be some give and take. When you are willing to compromise, then the impression that you've left on others would definitely bring you more credits then demerits!
Therefore, i think that it is always advisable to compromise eventhough it means that you might lose out in certain ways. However, the bottomline is that: do not compromise blindly. It would do mote harm than good!
Hi Chong Guan, from the incident you mentioned we can tell how important language is as a way to transcend cultural barriers. Hence when interacting with members of other races, we should speak in a common language that everyone understands to deepen our friendship.
Japanese people emphasise a lot on manners and etiquette, hence your Japanese friend felt it was rude of the Singaporeans to exclude them out of the conversation. Japanese people also tend to very serious about their relationships with others and such minor incidents, which may mean nothing to us, spell of severe inappropriateness to them.
Generally, to communicate effectively with those of another culture, embrace their language or use a common language to make their feel comfortable.
Hi Chong Guan, I can completely understand what you went through. We are so used to speaking in Singlish whenever we are with Singaporean friends that we tend to forget that Singlish is not English. Like you, when I was on my exchange programme in Denmark, I picked up a ‘new’ spoken language – English!
Initially, it took me a lot of effort to express myself in proper, well-structured English sentences. Moreover, I had to speak slower and also remember to include appropriate pauses while speaking. I then realised the importance of speaking proper English when I had to give class presentations, where I had to ensure that my target audience understood what I was presenting.
Hence, I believe it is always essential to keep an open-mind and be sensitive to intercultural situations, just like what you did. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Hey CG! I believe this is a very common situation! Sometimes a group of my friends will converse in Mandarin, not realizing that we have a Romanian friend! She will then remind us to switch to "channel 5" =). But I guess it is not a big problem for us because we are really good friend and eventually my Romanian friend learnt abit of Mandarin from us!
However, not everyone is that tolerant and accommodating. Therefore we should always be observant and sensitive during intercultural situations. By speaking a common language that everyone understands, no one will feel left out.
I feel that sometimes we can't expect everyone to cater and adjust to our needs. We should be more open minded and try to learn new language in order to merge into a conversation. This is especially true if we go overseas were we become the minority.
Hi CG! It does take quite a bit of effort to not speak in Singlish to your fellow Singaporean friends, since it is a language Singaporeans are most comfortable with. And yes, during our class sharing, you mentioned that the Japanese also spoke in their native language to each other. So did you point that out to your Japanese friend, since they were probably not aware as well? Both parties cannot be blamed as I believe that it is unintentional, so no one is at fault here. I personally would not feel offended or uncomfortable if I were your Japanese friend, because I understand that it is inevitable to unconsciously switch to Singlish, since it is a langauge you have been speaking for almost 20 odd years. But at least, she did express her concern, and did not bottle up her unhappiness. Had she not done so, the friendship between you two might have been jeopardized! And you did a good job in being accomodating too!Seems like the exchange programme really taught you alot on being more culturally-sensitive!
Hi CG, I can identify with you when you mentioned how it is more comfortable speaking in Singlish when you were with Singaporean friends. Even while in Singapore when I am among my friends, I tend to speak Chinese unintentionally in front of my non-Chinese friends.
I feel that your Japanese friend had reasons to feel uncomfortable enough to approach you on this issue. When a person is among other friends talking in another language, it is more than just being left out of the discussion. As he cannot understand what was discussed, he might begin to worry if his friends are talking about him or things that they did not want him to know. That feeling of insecurity is not easy for a person to ignore.
Hey CG! I feel that Singlish has really become part of the 'Singaporean culture' and I admit that I am guilty of overusing Singlish at times.
Although most Singaporeans would be familiar with Singlish, foreigners would find it hard to comprehend what we are saying when we speak in 'Singlish' since they are unfamiliar with some of the terms and phrases we use. Therefore, it is important to be sensitive to people who speak a different language as us so that they do not feel alienated.
Your Japanese friend did the right thing by voicing out her concerns early thus allowing you to be aware of the problem. This ensured that the problem was resolved early and prevented the situation from snowballing into something more serious.
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