This incident happened to me during my secondary school holidays that i took on a part time job selling men’s business pants in a major shopping centre along
On work, i began to observe some phenomenon. While i was a promoter of a certain brand of business pants, there were other promoters selling other brands. In that sense, we were working under different companies but we were in the same department. The promoters of other brands were really aggressive in their sales tactics as i realized that they were working under a commission-based scheme. So their salaries were based on how many business pants they were able to sell. But as i was only working part time, my pay was on an hourly basis, which might explain why i was much laid back in my sales. Esta was a promoter of another brand and also works on the commission basis. There was also some “rules” in sales that all of us must abide by. To avoid conflicts among the promoters, customers are free to walk around and when they stop to see a particular brand, other promoters of other brands are not supposed to “snatch” their customers.
There was this time when this customer decided that he wanted to try on Esta’s brand of pants and, while waiting for her to come back with the right size, that customer came over to my counter and said he wanted to try on some of the pants i was promoting too. In the end, that customer bought the pants that i was selling. Now, as all of you might have guessed, Esta became very angry with me. Her attitude towards me has completely changed since that incident. She refused to talk to me and i even heard from other co-workers that she has been telling everyone that i stole her customers. I have tried explaining the situation to her but it was of no use. It was then my school holidays ended and i have to go back to studying again. I have never contacted her since then and, looking back at it, it was such a pity that this friendship has to end just like that. What would you have done if you are in my shoes?
7 comments:
Hi Chong Guan, perhaps you could have tried approaching a sales promoter who had witnessed the whole incident and known you were not intentionally stealing Esta's customers to speak to Esta about it. Esta is not receptive to your explanations but will be more willing to listen to a neutral and honest third party.
If after all your explanations and help by the other sales promoters do not appease Esta, simply forget it. You have already done your best.
Hi Chong Guan, I agree with Yun nian that maybe you could have tried asking the others who were around at that time to explain the situation to Esta. Perhaps a mutual friend could help by being the mediator. But seriously, she was being really petty. If like what you've said, you two were close friends, then she shouldn't have been angry or jealous at all. Friends, or rather, close friends, shouldnt be jealous of each other. She should be happy for you instead! Why did she even see you as a competitor or rival in sales? She probably didn't see you as much of a good friend as you thought. And if I were you, like what Yun nian mentioned, I'd just forget it and give up this so-called 'friendship'. Its simply not worth it!
Hello CG, like you, I would first talk to her in private. I would approach her in person and politely ask for her time after office hours, specifying my hope of resolving any misunderstandings between the both of us. This way, she would be mentally prepared during the appointment. This could be done over a cup of coffee or over dinner, but more importantly, the environment should be conducive for friendly discussions. Being away from the work environment would make her less defensive and hopefully more receptive to reasons. Furthermore, effort and sincerity is displayed on my part.
During the conversation, instead of explaining my situation to her, I would first play the role of an active listener. I would ask her questions like how she’s feeling about the incident and what her views are about the incident, including her opinion on what I should have done in that situation.
Hopefully, this two way communication could resolve into an agreeable and win-win scenario. Otherwise, if I’m sure that I’ve handled it properly and things still do not work out, I would approach a third party like my mutual friends or colleagues, and even my supervisor if the need arises.
Hey CG!
I wanted to laugh when i read your post. Not the sinister kind of laugh though. I can so feel your confusion and vexation. You must have been saddened that your friend became your foe.
Well, in any case, this is a good life experience. You see human nature during your short job experience. I guess if I were you, I would have talked to her in private and tell her the whole story. On top of that, I would also tell her that I am not working on a commission basis. I didn't mean to steal her customers.
If she still doesn't understand and instead calls you name, I guess you would just let it go. Just like what the rest said, She is narrow-minded and petty. If is not worth spending your time pondering on how to salvage this relationship. She don't even appreciated you, why should you waste your time?
In any case, if you have already done your part well, then you will have no regrets.
Interesting conflict!
Thanks for the comments. Perhaps, at that point in time, i was still quite immature and did not handle the situation well. I believe that wisdom comes with age and, if i am given the same situation now, the outcome would have been better and a beautiful friendship would not have to turn sour. Pity.
Hey Chong Guan, I have to say that my first impression of Esta is that she is really petty and stubborn. Being your close friend at work, I thought she should have understood that you would not have snatched her customer. Moreover, there was no need for you to do that since you are just a part-timer. It is funny how she failed to understand this simple logic.
Alright, I am not supposed to be 'bitching' about her but to offer a solution to your problem! I think at that point in time, you could have sought the help of a witness (possibly a colleague) to explain things to her. However, this fails, it simply means (like what joyce has mentioned) that Esta do not really value you as a friend. There is hence no point in trying to salvage this one-sided friendship.
Take care (:
Hi Chong Guan, I am reading the story from your point of view so my understanding is limited to how you perceived the whole situation.
I would agree to initiate a conversation with her regarding this conflict because you treasure this friendship. Listen to what she has to say. If she had been your friend, she should be able to know your character and understand that you would not have done such a act on purpose. Initiating the reconciliation is the most you can do. If she refuses to talk and decide to end the friendship because of this small incident then there is nothing much you can do. It takes two hands to clap.
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